


Marjoram

by ImperialMint



Series: silence speaks for me [eruri week 2013] [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 05:30:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialMint/pseuds/ImperialMint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day Six of Eruri Week: Origins.</p>
<p>Levi has always been around horses, they practically gallop in his bloodstream. After an accident forces him from the track, Erwin Smith is there to help him when all seems lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marjoram

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day six of Eruri week! Day six's theme was 'origins'
> 
> I know it's still very late, but I have one more story and then I'll finally be done! Also if you're a horse person and you don't cry at Black Beauty, you have a cold, cold heart. I bawl like a baby when I watch it and I'm not generally a crying person.
> 
> This is un-betaed so any mistakes are my own and I'd appreciate that if any are found that they be pointed out!

“I was hoping they’d call off the race,” Levi said quietly. He was alone, save for the horse beside him, and it whickered in agreement. It had been raining for the better part of the week and the board had been planning to postpone the race until a few hours ago. Ground inspections had taken place and the course had been passed fit to be run, though it didn’t ease Levi’s discomfort.

“Levi?” a voice called and Levi stood from where he’d been sitting on the floor, peering over the stable door. “What are you doing?”

Levi narrowed his eyes, ignoring Gunter’s question and slipping from the stable. 

“Well,” Gunter continued as Levi slid the kickbolt into place, “they’re running through the preliminary shit. You better get down there or his owner will have your balls.” Gunter nodded to the horse in the stable and he whinnied pleasantly, sticking his head over the door to lip at Levi’s shoulder.

“It’s the same old,” Levi muttered, though he walked towards the boardroom anyway. “I’ve been in plenty of fucking races to know the rules by now.”

Gunter smiled and Levi rolled his eyes.

Just as Levi had predicted, the meeting was a waste of time. Race-goers were starting to enter the grounds and the meeting was more a way to keep the jockeys, trainers and horse owners under eye in attempt to staunch dodgy dealings. Not that it worked, but the higher ups of the Sina Cup seemed to think it did.

When they were finally allowed to get ready, Levi was joined by his horse’s trainer. The owner had vanished already, as most owners did (in it for the profit alone) and Nile assumed responsibility. Levi was just there to ride the horse, after all.

“He spooked when training the other day,” Nile said, trying to match Levi’s pace. Despite the difference in height and stride, Levi was much faster than Nile, nerves and excitement fuelling his urge to get into the saddle.

“You told me,” Levi muttered. “And I told you that’s why you don’t let inexperienced shits ride that horse. He’s a gentle giant under capable hands, but give him to someone he knows he can take the piss with and he’ll rage hell.”

Nile didn’t seem too pleased with the answer, but he didn’t have anything to say and Levi took a few quick steps faster, placing himself a little way ahead of him.

“We’ll go how we always have. We’re on a winning streak and I’ve ridden him enough to be able to handle him.” They dodged someone scurrying past with tack, heading down the yard to their horse’s stable. He was tacked already, navy blue and white colours adorning his dark coat.

Levi stroked his muzzle, nodding to Nile.

“We’ll go out there and give them what they came for,” he promised, the words enforced with an enthusiastic head bob from the horse.

.

_“And finally, five-times holder of the Sina Champion Jockey award Levi has been admitted to hospital in critical condition following a fall at yesterday’s Sina Cup. The full details are still not known, but it is thought that one of the other jockeys in the race lost control of their horse, resulting in a collision. Four horses and six jockeys were injured, including Levi, and were admitted to the Royal Sina Hospital for treatment. Two horses had to be euthanised at the scene. That’s it from us, more news in half an hour.”_

.

The weather was miserable outside and Levi curled up under his blanket the best he could, one leg outstretched. It had been a while since he’d been discharged from the hospital and though he still attended his physiotherapy, nothing seemed to stop the ache in his leg completely. The weather made it worse too, cold seeping into bone and sinew, infecting him with ache.

Most of the events of the accident were a blur. He’d been focusing on keeping his horse interested, keeping him steady. Levi had been about to curve a bend and overtake when one of the other horses on the track had swerved into him and that had been it. The next thing Levi could remember was waking in a hospital room with Petra at his side. She’d rushed off to get Gunter as soon as he’d woken and then discovered he’d been out for a few hours and would never race again.

With a sigh, Levi shut the TV off and stood shakily, grabbing for his crutches and moving to the bedroom. He didn’t need them as much anymore, but on wet or particularly cold days his leg refused to fully comply.

As with most nights, Levi lay staring at his ceiling, rubbing absent-minded circles into his thigh to try and alleviate the almost permanent cramp in the muscle there. He was exhausted both emotionally and physically, kept to himself for almost all of his time (and was miserable when Petra came by – she was the only one who could put up with his temper after all) and missed his work. He missed the horses and missed the freedom he had on the track.

Except those days were gone now. He’d be lucky to ever sit on a stationary horse again, let alone fold for a race. There was no one to blame either, not really, and Levi simply had to live with what had happened.

He woke to the sound of someone in his kitchen and the smell of breakfast. Petra was here then, and she’d made sure to turn the heating on more than Levi allowed himself to, because he wasn’t weak and the cold may irritate his leg, but he didn’t need his home becoming a sauna.

“Morning,” Petra said over scrambled eggs and bacon. “Breakfast is almost ready.”

She seemed more chipper than usual and Levi narrowed his eyes, taking a seat at the kitchen table and waiting patiently. He’d fought with Petra on her doting when she’d first started and she’d given him stern options, options Levi couldn’t fulfil with a leg like his. She sometimes came with their other friends, though Gunter tended to shy away, not wanting to remind Levi of their (former) shared profession any more than he had to.

“I have a suggestion,” Petra said through mouthfuls of fluffy egg. She sounded a little nervous and Levi narrowed his eyes, cutting into his bacon. 

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” he muttered, taking a generous sip of tea and looking at Petra for her reply.

“It was more Gunter’s suggestion really, though Auruo’s the one who knows the people who run it.” She shrugged, something Petra only did when she knew Levi wouldn’t be happy to hear what she had to say. 

“Well we were talking the other day and Erd asked how you got into being a jockey in the first place.” Levi nodded slowly, remembering the training stable he’d grown up on, surrounded by thoroughbreds and his parents who made sure their son could handle a 17hh running machine by the time he was leaving school.

“Perhaps it’s time to go back to your root,” she said, reaching for her bag and pulling out a piece of paper. It had been torn from an envelope and Auruo’s scrawl lined the white paper. “This stable is always looking for help and it might be good to give volunteering a go. There’s a possibility the owner will hire you after if it suits you.”

Levi took the piece of paper with thin lips. He’d never considered training race horses before, especially after his parents had died, but perhaps Petra was right. Perhaps he needed to return to his starting place in order to move on. He’d never be able to live any sort of life without horses and there were other things he could do besides ride, though his heart dropped at the thought. 

“They wouldn’t expect much from a volunteer,” Levi said, hoping the thought would be confirmed as he let a hand rest on his leg. On good days he was sure he’d be fine, but if he had a bad day then Levi knew he’d be as useless as a sack on a busy road.

“Auruo said the owner is desperate for help. Money’s not an issue, but they’ve had a few more horses in than they can handle right now and a few other volunteers have moved on.” Petra picked up her cutlery and tucked into her eggs again. “Ring the number and who knows. At the very least you’ll get to see someone who isn’t me. My face must be driving you mad.”

Levi nudged her shin gently with his good leg, smiling as he took another sip of tea.

“Thank you,” he said, the words rare from his lips. Levi didn’t know what he’d done to deserve such great friends.

*

When Levi had called, the owner of the stables had been out working with a horse and so he’d spoken to a man named Mike. He’d seemed pleasant enough and booked Levi in for a tour of the stables and a chance to meet the owner. Levi had mentioned his leg, asking if it would be a problem, and he still remembered the slight pause before reassurance that it wouldn’t be. Even now, with Petra driving him there, Levi wasn’t sure if they’d want him around even if he did like the place.

“You’ll be fine,” Petra said as she pulled off of the main road and down a gravel path. “Everyone’s really nice.”

Levi glared at her. “How the fuck do you know that? You haven’t even met them.”

Cheeks darkening slightly, Petra stammered a reply about Auruo and how she trusted his judgement (and really, Levi thought, why didn’t they just call it quits and announce their inevitable engagement to the rest of them).

“Well whatever,” Levi said, reaching for his crutches that lay across the back seats of her car. “Thanks for the lift.”

Petra beamed at him. “Just give me a text when you want to leave,” she said, and Levi knew she’d only be down the road at Auruo’s house. He’d moved out when he’d been sick of town life and said he still didn’t regret it, even if it meant commuting for his job.

Levi crossed the small car park and looked at his potential new workplace. An office sat by the gate separating the stables from the cars and, behind that, lay a large ring of stables, looking to house twenty or so horses. It also looked large enough to have another set of stables on the inside of that ring, a novel way to design a yard, but good to socialise the horses. 

A woman exited the office building and met Levi with a smile. Her chaps were covered in mud and her hair was askew, but she looked content and Levi pushed down any annoyance he felt at her dishevelled appearance. He wasn’t too fancy himself in jodhpurs and wellies, but he’d at least smartened himself up a little.

“You must be Levi!” she said, eyeing the crutches. “Erwin’s still with a horse at the moment so we can go watch him for a while before he’s ready to properly show you around.”

Levi followed her in near silence. She walked slightly ahead of him, but seemed to know exactly the pace Levi needed. She also hadn’t mentioned his pronounced limp or the crutches tucked under his arm (inconvenient, but he didn’t want to be stranded if his leg acted up). 

They came to a large, indoor school, passing by two smaller outdoor arenas and a grassy paddock. A few of the horses had poked their heads out as they had passed, but the woman had been on a warpath to get to the indoor school.

“Let’s take a seat then,” she said, leading Levi inside the school and to the viewing gallery. A rider and another man were inside, the rider looking as if he was practicing some dressage moves, an odd choice for a racehorse. Perhaps they trained other horses here then, Levi thought.

“My name is Hange,” the woman said. “The one in the school is Mike – you spoke to him on the phone – and the one riding Tee is Erwin. He’s the owner and the one who will be giving you a tour.” Hange smiled, gesturing at the seats. 

The man on the horse called out for Mike to check him and they corrected a fault before Erwin took the horse around the school, letting it stretch out. Erwin turned in the saddle to say something over his shoulder to Mike and that was when Levi saw the odd cut of his sleeve and the way he handled the reins with a single fist. 

“You can sit if you like.” She paused when Levi made no attempt to move. “Is it more comfortable to stand?”

Levi raised an eyebrow. Usually people did everything they could to avoid mentioning his injury, but Hange seemed the opposite, unafraid to acknowledge him and his disability. It was refreshing and Levi nodded. Perhaps Erwin also had damaged his arm and that was the reason for Hange’s understanding.

“It’s getting better, but I’d rather not push by sitting and standing a lot.” Levi turned his attention to the arena, watching as Erwin dismounted from the grey horse and handed it to Mike. 

“I’ll bring our guest to see her later,” Levi heard him say, deep voice warming him. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting!” he called out to Levi and Hange, who nodded and patted Levi on the shoulder.

“I’ll leave you in Erwin’s company,” she said, the scent of tack soap and straw washing over him as she passed by. It was a scent that reminded Levi of numerous tack rooms and his breath hitched, chest pounding as the reality of what he was doing finally caught up.

He was back with horses once again. And not just to look at from afar or stroke pityingly. Levi had the potential to really work with horses, back how he used to before the thought of being a jockey had crossed his mind.

Erwin was waiting in the doorway to the yard and Hange slipped past as Levi limped forward. 

“Can I leave these here?” Levi asked, setting his crutches to rest against the wall He wouldn’t need them today unless it suddenly started pouring. Erwin nodded and Levi noticed that he didn’t have an arm injury at all.

“You only have one arm,” he commented flatly and Erwin nodded slowly. 

“And you have an irreparable leg, Mike has a keen sense of smell that keeps him from the muck heap and Hange forgets her basic needs most of the time.” Erwin smiled, the words gentle. “All of our horses come here with one problem or another and we retrain them for a better life. A few, like the mare I was just riding, can’t be rehomed at all, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve a chance.”

That’s when it clicked in Levi’s mind. He should have known, really, that Erwin wasn’t a trainer of racehorses. He’d never heard of the Scouting Yard before Petra had mentioned it and he knew a fair few trainers, especially local ones.

But Erwin didn’t train racehorses. He took them when they were crippled and unwanted by their former world and helped them to calm, recover and learn so that they could find new homes. Many injured horses were given or sold to retraining yards rather than euthanised; no one liked to have the death of their horse printed in the paper, even if it was more for good publicity than them caring about the horse.

“With the new season ahead of us, we’re expecting to take on a few more horses. We have the stables and the money for them, just not the people,” Erwin explained as he walked beside Levi, passing the outside schools and leading to the circle of stables. “But you have to decide whether you like us or not of course.”

Levi nodded and Erwin led him round, explaining that they had the capacity to accommodate thirty horses in the circle here and had room for another twenty more in a block near the hay barn, set a little way apart from the circle. The ring was cut in quarters with a path running through to the middle, where the tack and feed room sat. The horses looked out of their boxes as Levi passed, on their way to the hay barn.

“We have aqua facilities in the rooms by the office,” Erwin said, boots crunching gravel as they walked. For a stable that was supposed to be suffering from lack of staff, it was impeccably clean. “We also have large turn-out fields and plenty of space for the horses.”

Levi was impressed. The hay barn was tidy too, a feat that was near on impossible. No horses were stabled in the blocks next to the barn and Erwin explained they tended to use these as quarantine or overflow when they couldn’t stable the horses on the main yard. 

“It doesn’t happen often,” Erwin said, shutting the barn door and leading Levi back to the stable block. “But we always need to be prepared. One of our more recent horses had to be stabled there for a short while for he attacked anything and everything he saw. He’s calmed a lot since, but he’s scared off quite a few youngsters.”

“How do you deal with him?” Levi asked. If Erwin simply left this horse alone to deal with its issues, he was a monster. Never mind how difficult the horse was, it needed help and was here for a reason.

“With patience,” Erwin said, stopping. He looked down at Levi, frowning. “Auruo said you were a jockey before your accident.”

Levi nodded.

“What happened to your horse?” The question was one Levi had never thought of before. His shoulders stiffened and he shook his head, watching a bay horse as it lipped at its hay net.

“I don’t know,” he said slowly, shaking his head. “I never thought to ask.”

Erwin nodded, resuming his small strides as they entered the ring of stables, passing into the inner circle. One of the stables had a red sheet of laminated paper taped to the door and one name at the side – Erwin’s name. 

“I must confess I researched you before you showed up,” Erwin said, leading Levi over to the stable. “And I may have been the one to tip Auruo off to the fact that having you here would be a good idea.”

With the sinking feeling of having walked into a trap and a stab of pain through his leg, Levi took a quick step back. Erwin turned, clicking his tongue over the stable door as a large horse stuck its head out.

“Titan,” Levi said in a rush of air, eyes widening as he saw the last horse he’d ever ridden. Titan had always been one of Levi’s favourites and they’d been paired together for three years. Despite that, he’d never thought about what had happened to the horse, assuming he’d been one of the ones put down.

“When he arrived, Auruo recognised him as the horse that fell with you. He takes to me kindly enough, though he won’t let anyone else near him.” Erwin stroked Titan’s neck gently, fingers curling against short, silky hairs. “My reason for wanting you here is a little selfish, but there’s nothing I won’t do for my horses.”

It wasn’t a trap, but it proved that Erwin Smith was as ruthless as any cutthroat trainer on the track, perhaps even more deadly. He’d played his cards, fought to find a solution to help his horse, and gotten Levi in return.

“What if he hates me?” Levi said, his heart beating wildly. “I rode him in that fall, he doesn’t trust anyone else and yet you seem to think I’ll be able to help?”

Levi wanted to laugh, but he didn’t have the strength. 

“Horses are smart, you know that. If Titan didn’t want you here, he’d have let you know by now. You have nothing to fear from him, just as he knows there’s nothing to fear from you.” Erwin stepped away from the stable door, watching as Levi took a few steps, then a few more, until he had his arms wrapped around the lowered thoroughbred’s neck.

“I’m sorry,” Levi said, ignoring the way Titan nuzzled at his pocket, aware of the mints he kept there. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

After that, Levi stopped by to pick up his crutches, the sight of Titan exhausting him. He entered the office with Erwin, pleased to see a seat by the heater near the desk.

“You’re obviously experienced with horses so I’ll just ask for a mere formality,” Erwin began, bringing out a few sheets of paper. “Is there anything you can’t or don’t do?”

Levi shook his head, watching Erwin fill boxes in slowly, carefully. It was evident his left hand wasn’t his dominant hand, but he managed well enough. 

“How do you know I’ll take your position?” Levi said as he watched Erwin sign something. Erwin looked up with a glint in his eye, turning the paper around for him to sign.

“You’re a horse man, just like me. A missing arm didn’t stop me from returning to my horses and I know a leg won’t keep you. It’s not a choice, it’s our life.” Erwin handed him a pen.

Levi signed.

.

For the first few weeks, Levi managed to work every day except on weekends. He hand-trained Titan and a few other horses and was one of the few who were allowed to work on Erwin’s favourite, the mare Humanity (Tee as her stable name would allow). He grew close to Mike and soon found someone else to drive him aside from Petra, who had burdened herself enough and wasn’t his chauffeur. Hange lived close and she swung by to collect him and dropped him home, an arrangement Levi grew used to.

“Erwin likes you,” Hange said one morning, in Levi’s fifth week at the yard. He’d left his crutches at home, the sun shining overhead already in what looked to be a beautiful day. His leg hurt less and less when he worked, though whether it was actually healing fully or whether Levi had other things to think of he wasn’t sure.

“He did hire me,” Levi pointed out and Hange scoffed at the wheel, turning into the stable’s car park. 

“No, I mean really likes you. He thinks you’re an invaluable force and is completely smitten, though he doesn’t look it.” Hange smiled as got out of the car, pressing the lock over her shoulder as they took off to the yard, Levi trying not to think about the comment. 

A few weeks later, Erwin approached Levi as he led one of the younger, more skittish horses around an outdoor school, waving him over from the gate.

“I know you don’t usually work weekends,” he began, hair tousled from taking his hat off, ruining the crisp image he usually held. “But Hange and Mike are going to collect horses and I need some help to make sure the younger volunteers know what they’re doing.”

Well, Levi’s other weekend plans involved pizza with Gunter and Erd and perhaps a bath, if he could bring himself to put his leg under the pressure of getting in and out, so work sounded good.

The yard at the weekend was a different place altogether. The calm, peaceful image of the week was shattered by a group of volunteers, noisy teenagers who the horses seemed to adore. They tracked dirt and sand in places it shouldn’t be and Levi waged war on the yard for half an hour before realising they would just track dirt over his kingdom again.

“There he is!” someone hissed under their breath (though Levi could hear them, thank you very much) as they entered the tack room. Levi was in the middle of wiping down the tack Erwin had used earlier, having a spare ten minutes or so. 

“Oh my god,” another voice whispered and Levi fought instinct to turn, instead focusing on wiping down the stirrup straps, checking the girth and all the buckles. They were in good condition, but it never hurt to check tack thoroughly. 

“Should I talk to him? What do I say?” the first voice sounded a little panicked and Levi let the saddle flap come down with more slap than necessary. He smiled at the slight jumpy sound his visitors made.

“Mikasa would say you’re acting like a baby,” the second person said and Levi found himself inclined to agree with Mikasa. He rubbed at a spot of dirt of the stirrup before turning around, weight on his good leg and arms crossed over his chest.

“I can hear you brats,” he said, raising an eyebrow. One was blond and one was brown haired, both looking at him with wide eyes. “And I’m just a person.”

The brown haired one passed his cleaning box to his friend and stepped forward, smiling.

“It’s an honour to meet you,” the kid said, bowing his head in respect. “Watching you race led me to working with horses and I’ve always wanted to thank you.”

Levi genuinely didn’t know how to respond to that. He’d never dealt with praise well and he found himself completely floored that someone would be inspired by his racing. He walked past the kids and to the door, needing fresh air, and noticed the crestfallen look on the brown haired one’s face.

“What was your name?” he asked, turning as the kid smiled, introducing himself as Eren and his friend as Armin.

They were students, Levi learnt. Students that wanted a bit of peace and comfort in their modern lives. Levi agreed with them and grew happy to listen to them in the hay barn, hooking nets to fill for the following day. He began to stay Saturdays too, extending his weekend to Monday, and hardly ever needed to bring his crutches.

“You’re not limping as heavily,” Petra commented over an Indian takeaway one night. Levi had protested with claims of grease and disgusting fats, but when Petra had marched the menu out he’d conceded. He’d always had to watch his weight before, he could afford to enjoy disgusting, fatty foods now.

“I’m exercising it a lot more,” Levi offered, though his physiotherapist had talked about mental views and how a lot of his limp could simply be because of his brain. He’d discarded the thought at the time, but now he was out and had more to look forward to (now he knew his life wasn’t over just because he couldn’t race), his leg ached only very rarely. Wet and particularly cold days still presented a challenge, but they hadn’t had one of those in a while now.

It was a Tuesday and Levi was hanging over Titan’s stable door, watching him play with a puzzle feeder. Someone came up beside him and Levi leant to his left a little, closer to the warm presence Erwin always presented.

“Would you consider riding again?” Erwin said and Levi looked at him with wide eyes. Here was the one man who Levi had never, ever, been able to predict, throwing another curve out there for him to simply deal with. And he did it without taking his eyes off of Levi.

“My leg’s crippled. I can’t,” he said, looking away. 

Titan had given up on the puzzle feeder and walked over to them, butting against Levi’s cheek with his nose. He was an attention-seeker with a soft spot for Levi and the entire yard found it ridiculously endearing. Titan had once unlocked his bolt when Levi had forgotten to put the kickbolt in place and come to stand at Levi’s side as he was sweeping the yard. The others on shift had watched as Titan followed him complacently, even holding a broom in his mouth and pretending to sweep.

“Did your doctors tell you that?” Erwin asked, dragging Levi from his comfort zone. Titan nibbled his fingers and Levi curled his hand, scratching the horse’s chin.

“No,” Levi said, because no one ever had. His physiotherapist hadn’t recommended riding, but she’d never said he couldn’t return. She had, in fact, said it must be nice for Levi to ride again once he’d told her about his voluntary work and he hadn’t bothered to correct her.

“Then you can.” Erwin smiled slightly, stroking Titan before walking away. He looked over his shoulder, empty sleeve swaying with the motion, and Levi frowned, resisting the urge to let his anger show.

“How dare you,” he said, stepping beside Erwin. They walked as they usually did, Erwin catering to Levi’s slower pace, but the air between them was anything but calm. “How fucking dare you,” Levi hissed again.

“You want to,” Erwin said simply, leading Levi away from the inner stables to where Humanity was stabled. “You’re stopping yourself because you want to be miserable and because you’re scared to try.”

Levi clenched his jaw, unable to reply. Erwin turned around, no sympathy or pity in his eyes, and for that Levi was grateful.

“You have your own Wikipedia page that shows your entire life has been about horses, about riding horses.” Levi scoffed at that, ignoring the twitch of the lips Erwin gave. This fucking man would be the death of him, Levi knew, anger subsiding.

“Bet you don’t have your own Wiki page,” he snipped back and Erwin shook his head, full smile creeping onto his lips.

“I’m a qualified instructor for the RDA,” Erwin said, and it was one of the few pieces of information about Erwin Levi had ever gleaned from the man himself. “We have lessons every Sunday for those with disabilities who are more experienced with horses and need something more than just being led round at trot pace.”

Levi knew they held lessons on Sundays, but he hadn’t known the exact nature of them. 

“It would be good for you,” Erwin said, unbolting Humanity’s stable door and entering, leading her out as Levi moved out the way. “I’d like to ride with you.”

.

Levi thought about the offer. And thought about it some more. And then thought about it even more. He didn’t mention it to anyone else and ignored Petra when she began asking questions on why he didn’t talk much about the yard. She even set Auruo on him, who began asking odd questions over tack soap and bridles, letting Levi know that if he ever wanted to talk, he was there.

“Shut up Auruo,” Levi said as he placed his saddle on the stand. “I know Petra’s been talking to you and she’s worried about me for whatever reason, but you don’t actually have to obey everything she always asks you to do.”

Auruo threw his arms up. “She made me promise.” He paused and lowered his arms slowly. “I am worried too you know. There’s obviously something bothering you lately.”

There was no way Levi was going to have a discussion with Auruo and he shrugged, packing away his tack cleaning equipment. He was done here anyway, and left to seek refuge trying to catch Titan from one of the fields.

It was a week after Erwin’s prodding that Levi brought his hat to the yard, tucked under his arm as he marched straight to the office. It was early enough that Erwin would still be going through papers rather than on the yard and Levi was proved right when he entered, standing in the centre of the room in riding boots rather than his usual wellies.

“One lesson,” Levi said, ignoring the lightness in his chest and the bubbling of nerves in his stomach. 

Erwin pushed his papers back and nodded, rising from his seat. Hange had vanished to the feed room to prepare lunches and none of the other volunteers ever got there before Levi. Mike was probably grooming or turning out and it looked as though they’d have the indoor school to themselves.

“Humanity is a good horse to start on, though I know you get on best with Titan. Still, he’s yet to have been re-schooled and if this is going to work, you need a horse that understands you need to be retrained too.” Erwin led him to Tee’s stable, where she stood already tacked. Oh how devious a bastard this one was, Levi thought, but oh how he was enjoying this.

Though she was tall, Tee was smaller than most thoroughbreds. She’d never had a successful running career and been retired after failing to breed. Erwin had saved her from a slaughterhouse and she was his first successful retrained horse, one he’d kept and used to retrain himself once he’d lost his arm.

Outside the school was a mounting ramp that Levi walked on, waiting until he was high enough to mount his horse. Erwin led her until she was next to Levi and halted her, keeping her still and steady as Levi placed his hands on the pommel and cantle of the saddle.

“I’m really doing this,” he muttered, glancing to Erwin. The reins were tightened under his left hand and he took a deep breath. He’d have to put a lot of pressure on his leg when he mounted and Levi wasn’t sure he’d be able to cope. 

“We can mount from the other side,” Erwin suggested, but Levi shook his head.

“I’m doing this properly, or not at all.” Riding etiquette had been drummed into him before he could walk and Levi wasn’t about to let his leg undo all the work his parents had done. His physiotherapist would skin him for his attitude, but Levi didn’t give a rat’s arse, to be frank. He had to do this his way or no way at all.

He slipped his left foot into the stirrup and took a deep breath. Humanity stood still, perfectly still, and Levi made a note to sneak her some mints later as a thank you. 

Taking a deep breath and preparing himself for the lance of pain that would shoot down his leg, Levi lifted the weight off of his other leg and up into the saddle. It took a few seconds, but the pain was so intense that white stars coated his vision and he bent over in the saddle.

“Are you okay?” Erwin asked, voice concerned. He was at Levi’s side, by his painful leg, and Levi’s hand sipped from the reins to feel his thigh muscle.

“I…” Levi started, gritting his teeth. “I’m okay,” he managed and Erwin backed off a little.

“I can’t move my leg,” Levi admitted a moment later, fingers trying to loosen his muscle slightly, to no avail. Months of work could just have been unravelled in a few seconds.

“Would you like me to help you down?” Erwin said, though his voice was lower than usual and Levi smiled.

“You got me on this horse,” Levi said. “I’m riding.”

The ride was more a walk around the arena, Erwin walking by Humanity’s side. Levi’s leg was still in the stirrup and still useless, but he couldn’t describe how he felt. It was good to be back on top of a horse again.

“I still don’t know the story of your arm,” Levi said as they neared the C marker. Erwin led them down the centre line and hummed to himself.

“Not written on my Wikipedia page then?” he said and Levi rolled his eyes, flicking the end of the reins at him.

“It’s actually very boring. I was headed to a race to watch the horse I’d been training run and was involved in a car accident. My arm was wounded heavily and they were unable to save it.” Erwin looked up at Levi as they turned back onto the track. “I was fired from training competitively because no one likes a damaged member of their team – human or horse – and opened up this yard with the money I’d saved.”

Erwin patted Humanity’s neck and Levi felt her soften a bit more under his hands. 

“I didn’t ride for months after my accident, but an old colleague of mine introduced me to his wife, a woman who works for the RDA. I had lessons, ended up taking some courses and here we are today.” Erwin let his hand fall to Levi’s foot, pushing it back a little into the correct position. Levi made a slight noise of discomfort, but it didn’t hurt that much. He was thankful, if anything, that Erwin cared enough to make sure they did this properly.

“Titan came here through my old colleague actually. He said I’d know what to do with the hell-raiser and if I couldn’t help him there wasn’t a person on this planet who could.” Erwin glanced at Levi. “I think that perhaps applies to more than just the horse.”

Levi said nothing, but tangled his fingers in grey mane hairs. He’d always thought of Nile as a pig (and it had to be Nile, anyone else involved with Titan would have shot him first chance they had), but this just blew everything out of the water. 

“Are you some knight in shining armour then? You have the grey horse to match,” Levi said, wishing he could move his leg and send Tee to trot away from Erwin. As it was, he was stuck walking, Erwin at his side.

Erwin laughed, the sound echoing around the arena.

“I said I’d help you, not save you. No one needs to be saved, let of all by me.” He shook his head. “We made a deal. You work here and with the horses and I give you something to think about other than your injury.”

Levi looked down, letting his entire body sway with Humanity’s movement. 

“I think I’m done for the day,” he said and Erwin nodded, taking the reins and leading Levi from the school.

“Will you be okay to dismount?” he asked, walking Levi to the mounting block again. The distance would be shorter and Levi would be able to get down quicker.

“Should be,” Levi replied, slipping his feet from the stirrups. His left leg needed some help, but it had loosened up a little during the ride. He’d probably need his crutches (they sat in the back of Hange’s unlocked car) for a while, but the pain wasn’t excruciating.

Levi swung his leg over the back of the saddle, coming down in one swift movement. He landed with a thump and winced as his foot touched the floor. He stretched himself out before putting a little weight on that side and nodding to himself with the amount of pain. It was bearable and he could still walk.

“I’ll take her back now,” Erwin said, slipping the reins over Humanity’s neck and leading her off. “Titan could use a groom, if you’re up for it. He’s been out all night and when I brought him in, it looked like he’d found a muddy puddle to sleep in.”

Erwin rounded the stable block and Levi watched the space where he’d been, smiling to himself slightly. 

He liked Erwin, he decided. Really liked him.

.

Lessons with Erwin continued and Levi’s leg took well to them. It still lay stiffly, but he was able to regain some movement, enough for him to canter unaided around the school in their fifth week. Rising trot was still out of the question and Levi would never be able to jump, but he was happy with what he had. 

When he heard Erwin’s suggestion the day he first cantered, Levi almost dropped the curry comb he’d been using on Titan.

“Dinner,” he parroted, not sure he’d heard Erwin correctly.

“Yes, I thought you deserved some kind of recognition so we could go for dinner at the local pub. Or, if you’d prefer, we can have it at my place, order in or I can cook.” Erwin’s lips downturned slightly. “I’m not that great a cook though.”

Levi thought about it. He stank of horse and tended to be uncomfortable with new places and unfamiliar people.

“If you could give me a lift home, I’d prefer to come to yours.” Erwin looked slightly relieved by the answer and Levi wondered if it was due to the stares he got. “And a take away sound fine.”

They settled on pizza and films, Levi poking fun at Erwin’s vast horse related collection. Erwin lived on stable grounds, in a large house near to the office. It was rare that anyone entered it (Hange and Mike seemed to be the only regulars the house saw aside from the owner), but it was neat and tidy, a few rooms shut off completely as there was no use for them.

“Don’t you dare put that film on,” Erwin said as Levi held up a case, grinning evilly. He ignored Erwin’s threats and put the film on, sitting beside Erwin and dragging his pizza box over, taking a large bite in victory.

“It’s my favourite,” he countered childishly and Erwin vanished for a moment, returning with a roll of toilet paper.

Of course, as Levi should have known, they both ended up with large wads of tissue curled in the hands, tears streaking their cheeks as cart rolled into view, on it a chestnut mare.

“Oh fuck,” Levi said, tucking his legs under himself and pressing against Erwin’s side. “Fucking Ginger.”

Levi felt Erwin try to hold his breath, but he failed and let out a pathetic sob. Levi curled against him tighter and they finished the film in silence.

When the credits rolled around, Erwin turned to Levi with a trembling lip and wide eyes. 

“Levi,” he said pathetically, eyes and nose pink from crying. Levi doubted he looked any better and stubbornly turned his head away. “Can we go see the horses?”

They slipped on their boots and made a round of the stables, a few of the horses stirring. Most were out in the field, but a few were always stabled inside and one, a bay that Mike was training, walked over to them with ears pricked forwards.

“Why does that film even exist?” Erwin said, rubbing the bay’s forehead and looking to Levi. “The book’s bad enough, but the film used actual horses.”

“Black Beauty is a deadly classic,” Levi said, guilt creeping in for putting Erwin through it. “If you like horses and don’t cry at that film then you must be a terrible person.”

Erwin let his hand rest against the bay’s cheek and the horse turned away, going to forage from his haynet. Levi looked up at Erwin, glad the lighting around the yard was minimal so that Erwin couldn’t see the sudden red tinge to his cheeks. 

“I like you, Levi,” Erwin announced suddenly, and Levi looked up in shock. 

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?” Erwin rubbed the back of his neck and Levi could see the slight red set to his cheeks. Perhaps the stable light was more telling than he’d thought.

“I mean I don’t do this thing often – at all really. I just really like you, I have for a while, and I asked your friend what you liked to do and-“ while it was endearing to hear the usually so composed Erwin faulting when it came to his emotions, Levi did what any sane person would at that moment.

He kissed Erwin.

“Shut up you idiot. You cried more than most people do at that film, you stalked me on google – don’t deny it – and you understand me better than anyone I’ve ever known.” Levi stood on his tiptoes, ignoring the ache in his leg.

“I like you too,” he continued, “just in case it didn’t get through yet.”

The bay horse looked up in interest as Erwin scooped Levi up in one arm, half-carrying him as he kissed him deeply. It snorted and returned to eating, leaving the people to their own little world.


End file.
